Satan's Little Gamer - May 16, 2008

Tonight's festival of music is The Wallflowers and their hit One Headlight. I love this song, but, have they had any other hits? I could Google it, but I don't really care that much.

My sister used to date the lead singer for a while. They even got engaged. Tragically, the marriage was never meant to be. You see, my sister was killed in a freak piranha attack two weeks before the wedding. She had been living in South America where she was building a school for a village of impoverished orphans.

Not really. But that would be a pretty cool story. Don't you think?

-Satan's Little Gamer

Myst Remember the so called, classic game Myst released in 1995 for PC? Well, Nintendo remade the game for the DS and it's even crappier than before. There have been several complaints. Such as you can't activate certain switches or certain objects that you zoom in on are extremely pixilated. Man, I remember when my dad got this game. Want to know how far I got in the so called, classic? I got to the room with the dentist chair then turned off the game. It was so boring. I had no clue what to do. I understand they made several sequels to this game.

I am pretty sure the glitches and bugs that are in the game will be fixed but it's just amazing that some people actually like this game. Oh well, if you like it, fine. Who am I to judge, I don't really like puzzle games like that. The only puzzle game I had the most fun playing was the Resident Evil series. I loved only four of the Resident Evil games. These included, Resident Evil, Resident Evil 2, Resident Evil 3, and of course who can forget the remake of Resident Evil for the Gamecube?

Thanks for reading.

Yours, SatansLittleGamer

Here is a Japanese advertisement for the game SOCOM: U.S. Navy SEALs which was released back in 2002. It was a great game in my opinion. A lot of people liked it too. I found this ad pretty funny so I thought I'd share it with you.

As the famous comedian George Carlin says, "Use live ammunition, assholes. Would you please!?"

Thanks for reading.

Yours, SatansLittleGamer

Gavel Wow, this is a shocker. I don't really pay attention to law suits but apparently both Microsoft and Nintendo have been involved in patent suits involving the controllers for their games. I read about this a long time ago. I just thought it would all go away but the article here states that Microsoft settled and Nintendo kept going on with the lawsuit.

Why didn't you settle like Microsoft Nintendo? It would've saved you a shitload of money in fines and charges! I have to be honest, Nintendo is one of my favorite video game companies cause they revolutionized video games after Atari failed. I owe all my thanks to them for bringing video games back to life. But, I spend more time on my 360 than any other system cause I play LIVE like crazy and I love every second of it bitches.

Thanks for reading.

Yours, SatansLittleGamer

Gamespot has the first screenshots from Robert Ludlum's The Bourne Conspiracy and, just like we expected, Jason Bourne looks nothing like Matt Damon.

You may remember from an earlier post that Matt Damon was upset because the game creators wanted to make the game a shooter and Damon wanted it to be like Myst.

Since he didn't get his way he threw a little tantrum, cried like a little bitch, wet his pants and refused to be part of the game. The developers went ahead without him and apparently made Jason Bourne look like Chandler from Friends. In other words: they made Bourne look like a guy.

Myst, if you don't know, is a puzzle game that was released in 1993. That's what Damon wanted. A 1993 puzzle game. I'm surprised he didn't demand they release it as a board game like Candy Land.

I'm glad Bourne looks like Chandler. Matt Damon is a girl. A girl in a pretty, little, party dress who plays with dolls.

-Satan's Little Gamer

caution australia According to the Edinburgh Evening News, those of you who are using pirated copies of GTA IV run the risk of infecting your systems with trojans.

From the article:

Security companies have warned many of the illegal copies have been found to contain a Trojan virus, which can be used to wipe out or steal sensitive information such as a user's bank details or to wipe out important files.

The moral to this story is that if you have the cash, buy the game. If you're broke, hey, whatever works for you. Who am I to judge?

Just one question: Who the hell keeps their bank details on their game system?

-Satan's Little Gamer

great wall toilet The woman in my life (No. Not my mom. Your mom.) has complained that having a daily Gamer Girl is turning Satan's Little Gamer into a soft-core porn site.

So, I have to cut back on the girlie pix. I'm not going to stop posting them. I'm just going to stop posting them every day. Sorry.

And as a peace offering to all the girls gamers and gay gamers who may have felt left out, I'm posting a Gamer Boy THIS ONE TIME ONLY! Click here for your hunk of meat. If you dare. Perverts.

-Satan's Little Gamer

my little condemned pony This is the ad Sega was forced to pull due to intellectual property infringement, according to theage.com.

From the article:

The cached site featured the little pony, a clown and lollipop characters - each of which links to a video of a sing-along tune detailing the violence that characterises Condemned 2: Bloodshot.

In the pony video, the song includes the following lyrics:

"You killed a hobo with an iron bar, smashed his head through the window of a car ...

"Smashing and bashing, killing dudes, tends to have an effect on you.

"Stop dismembering body parts ..."

Interspersed in the videos are split-second frames depicting brutal scenes from the game.

Intellectual property infringement, or not, that's funny stuff.

-Satan's Little Gamer