Satan's Little Gamer - February 1, 2009

steelers The Steelers won the Superbowl today and I won forty bucks. I hope they're not jealous of my impressive victory.

-Satan's Little Gamer

One of my readers (Yo! Scotty G!!) emailed me this updated story to the Gene Simmons Axe last November. I was going to post it, but I decided to get drunk and lazy for a couple of months instead. Sorry, Scott. I apologize for being such a drunken, lazy butthole.

From the article:

Gene's actual AXE guitar received Feb 15th to go into Legacy's computer modelling lab to create the master tooling models. Curt Vendel is holding the guitar.

Read the updated story here.

-Satan's Little Gamer

In case you live under a rock, in a cave, on Mars and wear a blindfold and keep your fingers in your ears, today is Superbowl Sunday. With that in mind, here's an ad from Superbowl Sunday of 2007.

-Satan's Little Gamer

Hilarious weiner dog vid I found on the YouTubes. If you're cool, you'll watch it. If you're not, you won't. Here's where we find out how cool you really are, Jimmy.

-Satan's Little Gamer

Destroy All Humans: Path of the Furon is one of the worst games I've played in my life. Lets see, where do we start first? Gameplay first. Ok, so the gameplay was fun at first but after a while, you'll start to notice a lot of glitch's in this game. For instance, you'll get stuck halfway into the ground. Half of your body will be under the ground and the other half sticking out. This is a pain in the ass cause you have to fucking jump away from the area that you are stuck in.

When you kill civilians, their heads explode and that's it. I was on one level where I found this huge globe. I started throwing the fucking thing down the street trying to blow up cars and shit. Well, this damn globe didn't come in contact with ANY civilians. Guess what? They're fucking heads started to explode!

Cars explode, people's heads explode for no fucking reason. It's annoying. Most of the weapons you unlock are useless and NEVER come in handy. For instance, the Venus Human Trap gun. Absolutely useless! You will never use this gun! I used it to get the Achievement and for one mission to get some slut news reporter the story of lifetime.

There is another gun called the Superballer. Guess what this fucking thing does? You can only fire two shots at a time. When it hits a target, it sends it flying up in the air until it hits the ground and the target dies. It will bounce several times to kill the stronger targets that need to take more damage to die. Also, there is a rainbow trail that is left behind the target as he is bouncing up and down the street. Why a fucking rainbow? Why not a long flame or a red beam or something? I hate the Superballer weapon. Totally useless. The weapon I use a majority of the time is the Zapp-O-Matic.

The sound goes mute a lot of the times. When you read somebody's mind, you will hear the first half of the sentence but the rest of the sentence is cut out. The subtitles in this game are a joke! I am not fucking kidding you. I have a 50" HDTV and I can't read the fucking subtitles! They are so small it's impossible to read them.

This makes it impossible for me to use a lot of the additional functions for some weapons. I can't control the tornado for the Tornadotron gun. There is a way to guide the tornado in any direction you want but since the captions were so fucking small, I don't know whether to hold down RT, LT, RB, or LB. The button just looks gray and you can't see the fucking letters! Also, the Torandotron is the best weapon in the game right? Wrong! You think you can use this damn thing and knock down buildings with it. Wrong! All it does is destroys cars. It doesn't do the damage you expect it to do like bring buildings down, etc. It's a useless fucking weapon!

I read the review score on Gamefly and this game got a 6.5. On Gamespot, this game received a 4.0. Gamespot also mentioned that this game is racist against Asians. I haven't noticed anything wrong with the Asians in this game but I will keep an eye out for anything suspicious or racist in this game.

I give this game 1 star out of five. This game is garbage! Don't even get it! Get Destroy All Humans for the Original Xbox instead. This game was rushed. Also, THQ pulled the plug on their Sandbox game company and this game should have gone down with it but they decided to release it instead.

Thanks for reading.

Yours, SatansLittleGamer